From the Office of the Tooth Fairy

Lately we’ve gotten a few very stern letters from the tooth fairy. Claire received the following under her pillow after losing a tooth then losing the tooth altogether! She left a snack for the tooth fairy in lieu of the actual tooth….

From: The office of the Tooth Fairy

To Claire Abigail Mast

Re: Claim of missing tooth

Dear Ms. Mast, 

On the night of September 1, 2012, I received your claim of a missing tooth. I believe that you are probably an honest girl but you will understand that I must be careful about these matters. Every night, many naughty children try to fool me into giving them money by claiming that they have lost teeth when really they have not. I could pry open every child’s mouth and check inside to see whether or not they are telling the truth but that is a very dangerous task. For one thing, many children have bad breath. Also, I could become trapped inside and even swallowed! So, because I do not want to be swallowed alive or killed by bad breath, I do not even try to find out whether these missing tooth claims are true or false.

Please complete teh form on the other side of this letter in order to assure me that you have indeed lost a tooth. Leave it under your pillow tonight and if I am satisfied with your answers I will give you your reward. Thanks for understanding; I hope you will continue to lose many teeth. 


The Tooth Fairy

P.S. Thank you for the treats. Very few children think about leaving something for me- and when they do it is usually something disgusting and healthy  Many people leave me toothpaste! You cannot imagine how much toothpaste I have in my fairy house. And since my teeth are so small I don’t need to use very much- it takes me 3 years just to get through one small tube. 

On the form, Claire needed to check the reason that she lost the tooth orginally. She checked “it just fell out” and added, “p.s. i was brushing my teeth as I normally do (which is a bit too hard my dad says) and then it just fell out!. pps. I also forgot to brush carefully around my loose tooth. Sorry that I didn’t remember.”

In answer to the question: How did you lose your tooth the second time, she checked “other” and explained…”I put it in my pocket and  then I took it out to show my mom, dad, and sister then I think I put it back in my pocket but I was running around and then when I put my hand in my pocket and there wasn’t anything there! I had lost it! p.s. I was careless, wasn’t I? Sorry!”

She was also required to color in the tooth she lost on a diagram of all the teeth. She colored it green and made the following note: p.s. I know that teeth are not really green but if I colored it white, it would not show up.

Thank you for giving me another chance tooth fairy! Claire Mast

She also had to obtain some witness signatures as proof that she truly lost her tooth and her own signature to declare that this was not a false claim.

After receiving Claire’s  thorough answers, and apparently mollified by the treat, the tooth fairy relented and left money the second night. Shew.

A few days later, Eliza lost her upper front tooth and left it under her pillow. The next morning, she received the following letter, including the official seal of the tooth fairy,  in place of money…

From: The office of The Tooth Fairy

To: Eliza Grace Mast

Re: Suspicious tooth

Dear Ms. Mast,

On the night of September 4, 2012, I found the tooth that you left under your pillow. I’m sorry to tell you that I was not able to leave any kind of reward. The problem is that this tooth looks suspicious. It is very little and cute – maybe too little and too cute to be a real girl’s tooth! Ms. Mast, I hope that you are not trying to fool me by leaving a chipmunk tooth under your pillow! Or is it from some other kind of animal – like a young monkey or a bush baby? Are you pulling teeth out of an animal’s mouth and trying to fool me?

I am taking the tooth back to my fairy headquarters and I will be putting it into my Super-Duper-Tooth-Detector machine. This machine will tell me everything I need to know. It will tell me whether the tooth came from a person, an animal or a doll baby.

I have to warn you that if my machine tells me that this is not a human tooth you will be in a lot of trouble. I will have to punish you by returning to your room late tonight and casting my magic spell on you. If I do that, all of your teeth will slowly change into animal teeth and your mouth will be a very scary sight indeed! You might end up with one hippo tooth, a couple of lion fangs, and some big ugly yellow camel teeth right in the front!

However, if you are telling the truth and if this cute little tooth really did come from your mouth, then you have nothing to fear. And since I am a kind and generous fairy I will give you an extra reward because you had to wait an extra night. Attached to this letter you will find a quiz about animal teeth. (Did you know that I collect teeth from them as well – and give them rewards like nuts and berries?)  If you can answer the questions correctly, AND if your tooth is real, then you will get a double reward tonight. Just fill out the quiz and leave it under your pillow.


The Tooth Fairy


Eliza came down in the morning giving fierce frowns to Tom, stating very firmly, “I do NOT have chipmunk teeth!” She was intrigued with the idea of doubling her money so she took the quiz, submitted it and got a whole 40 baht in return!

I think we’re all a little nervous about the tooth fairy at this point. Who knew she was so strict and exacting. Wow.




3 thoughts on “From the Office of the Tooth Fairy

  1. Philip says:

    Hilarious!! -P

  2. Betsy says:

    I love this post so much! Probably one of my favorite of all time. And… so excited for Claire and Eliza in this exciting growing up time! Love, Betsy

  3. Delores Mast says:

    I could hardly read this out loud to Gramps I was laughing so hard! What fun in the Mast household! I bet Silas hopes he never looses his teeth! Love you all!

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